It Died With Him . . .

~~ the quindecim

by tkbrown
He had a way no one else has;
he could fill the mundane with jazz
in a class of his own making.
Voice inflection, dry 'erh joking,
his dry humor entertained all--
rich or poor, whatever your call.
We understood his little ways--
nuances uttered in a phrase
seen and heard, sometimes with no word,
just a look, or tilt of his head.
Often, he said more than we heard--
making sense of seeming absurd.
Associations oft metered
as if to be footed and rhymed,
orated class, measure timed.

Others have tried, and they have failed
to find the finesse where time sailed
as it did wrapped up in his words.
First one--then others gave answers--
but not inciting responses
he could when wording those ripostes
in the best projection or tone--
such that the question would be known.
Even celebrity has tried
and quite miserably were failed
as global viewers turned away,
quit trying to fill that special sway.
It is time to cease and desist
efforts to fill shoes--What man, this?--
a role fades back into the mist.

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Alex Trebek was the much-loved, long-time host of NBC’s game show, “Jeopardy.” Continuing as host of the show throughout his battle with cancer, Trebek earned global fan respect. His talent as the host of “Jeopardy” was in his ability to posit answers to contestants who then responded with the correct query. Trebek had a long history in the television business where he started at the bottom and literally worked his way up through the ranks. In 1980, he hosted his first “Jeopardy” show and continued until his death in November 2020. This is the position with which Alex Trebek will ever be connected. and he left shoes that no one else will ever be able to fill or satisfy the viewing public. The recent controversy surrounding the show has, I believe, sealed the show’s fate. It will never be the same. Is it time to allow “Jeopardy” to disappear into the mist as well?

Born George Alexander Trebek in Sudbury, Ontario, Canada on 22 July 1940 to George Edward Trebek–a Ukrainian child immigrant to Canada–and Lucille Marie Lagacé, a Franco-Ontarian. He died 8 November 2020 at the age of 80 after bravely continuing to “live” through his battle with cancer. His technique as “Jeopardy” host was part of what gave the show its long-running popularity. There will never be another Alex Trebek.

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Source:

Eds. Wikipedia. (30 March 2021). Alex Trebek. “Wikipedia: the free encyclopedia.” Wikimedia Project: Powered by MediaWiki. (30 March 2021). Alex Trebek – Wikipedia.

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Image Above: @clipartpanda.com.

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My Morning Do . . . Tears

Tears of Grief — Grief of Tears

~~ by tkbrown — ≥∑

28 November 2020 — The worldwide loss associated with the Covid-19 pandemic has, is, and will have far more impact on us as individuals, as families, as communities, as states, as countries, and as a world than we might ever imagine. There is nothing to reference in responding to these losses. Yes, there have been pandemics before, but the world population, the interaction of countries around the world and the commercial interdependence around the world are far greater than ever before, so the impact of this type of phenomena is unprecedented.

The manner in which some of the losses have occurred, the extent of loss one individual must bear, the burden on families trying to somehow fill the shoes of a person, or persons, no longer with them–these are just a few of the personal losses being experienced. Similar losses have occurred in the professional/work realm, and at the governmental realm–and we are far from done with the related losses.

I believe these losses may be part of the impetus behind the need to protest to such extent as we are seeing in society today. There is no visible, touchable culprit causing these losses in our lives. There is not a “person” we can blame and vent upon, because it is not a person who caused the losses. This invisible force is ravaging our world, and the only way we know to let others know how much we are hurting is to savagely molest something that physically represents some other area in which we feel an intangible loss.

I would encourage caution in this approach. The one thing our families, governments, world do not need right now is another area of major loss. We need to shore each other up and find healthy outlets for our grief. A house divided is a house that falls. The same applies to governments and countries. Learn to grieve in healthy ways rather than creating more pain and grief. I know the tendency may be to lash out at the first possible expression of tangible loss. Remember, this only creates layers of losses. Do what you can to relieve the situation rather than add to it.

True grief, the cleansing kind of grief, involves the shedding of tears. If we do not ever cry, we can never release all of the negative. This release allows us to truly hold the good close to our heart. Many times, I have cried for the loss of someone I love. Many other times, I have told myself to “suck it up and be and adult.” Big girls don’t cry is the message I was sending myself. The question is: “Why did I send myself that message?”

Society teaches both girls and boys not to cry. “Big girls don’t cry” and “Big boys don’t cry” are phrases children are taught as they grow. No one wants to deal with a whiney crier, so it is deeply ingrained into a person by adulthood. We all “need” to cry sometimes. When we experience a loss, it is oft important to acknowledge that loss with tears. If we do not do this, we are never truly cleansed of the negativity associated with the loss (i.e., self-talk: “I can’t go on without _____.” “I can’t do this alone.”). There are any number of negative things we may say to ourselves when loss occurs.

This, “big boys and girls don’t cry” is much more deeply instilled in boys than in girls. It is generally acceptable for a woman to cry–sometimes. After all, women are the weaker sex, so we cannot be expected to go through life without crying. Men, on the other hand, have to “suck it up.” The message sent to men says it is never ok for them to cry. To that, I say: “Hogwash!”

All of us need to cry sometimes to release the pain associated with loss. Men hurt, too, when a loss occurs. We need to make a special effort to teach boys and girls it is ok to cry when we are deeply hurt. We also should accept that there are times tears are shed from joy or gratitude–and that is ok too.

The grieving process in the loss of a dear loved one is never complete until tears are shed. If we want to let go of the negative aspects we associate with that person’s leaving us, we must release those associations with our tears.

When my Daddy and Mama died, I didn’t cry at all until the funeral (just before–on the way to it) for Daddy. When the tears started, they would not stop until I had emptied those feelings of loss and–yes, deprivation–I was feeling. I cried so hard it worried so me who were there. I knew I would never be able to see them, hug them, tell them I loved them–ever again. The pain associated with knowing this had to be released. Only then could I know I would always be able to talk to them, because they are both a part of who I am.

Just as God dwells inside me because I am His temple, there are bits of the people I have lost inside me too. It matters not whether they are family, friends, acquaintances, co-workers–whatever the interaction that made us care for them as a person–to some extent, we need to release those feelings of loss. The death of a loved one–other than Mama and Daddy–has never pulled so many tears from me before I could stop them. Yes, I love my siblings–and I cry when they die–but it is not as intense as losing Mama and Daddy. The important thing I must stress here is: the tears did not occur with that intensity again. Yes, I would tear up occasionally; sometimes, I would cry for a minute or two, but I never cried like that again. I released the intensity of the loss with those tears. This left me with the ability to remember the good parts of my life-giving interaction with them–to hold those parts of them close to my heart. It also left me able to meet the responsibilities of job, family, etc. in the days and months that followed.

This need to cry when loss occurs applies to men too. It is not likely they will cry as hard as I did, but they may. It depends on the extent of loss they are feeling. The loss of some loved ones is no less painful for them than for a woman. Society tends to instill the “no tears” approach much more deeply in men. Whether it is the loss of a person, a thing, or a place–either permanently or for a time, tears may need to be shed. The more dearly and more closely held to our heart, the greater the need for tears. This is true for men as well as for women.

I believe this message allowing tears to be shed at times can be conveyed through learning, in books, the media, social studies, and via other means. It can begin during early childhood and progress into adulthood. In this way, we can give each other–both male and female–permission to release the pain through tears. It is when this is not allowed, the grief of tears becomes a negative concept–so we learn to “suck it up, be an adult.”

The grief of unshed tears can be far more damaging to our psyche than tears of grief ever could be. Tears held in and never released may sometimes be seen as anger toward self or others, negative views of self and/or others, or in other ways too difficult to explain or discuss in a brief manner. It can cause post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) and require the need for extensive processing to facilitate the healing of release. Whatever the setting, eventually those tears of grief must be shed or the grief of tears begins to become the norm.

If we think we cannot release our grief–that it must be held in until it is gone–we will never allow ourselves to properly grieve. It will not go away if we hold it in. So, if we can ever truly overcome our grief, the freedom and permission to cry will be a part of the path we take to the ultimate, healthy acceptance we desire to achieve. Healthy acceptance will never mean we do not miss the object of our loss. It means we accept the loss and its importance in our lives; we give ourselves permission to grieve for that loss when the need arises. This allows us to move past the grief and back into productivity.

I know, we don’t typically think of our familial and friendship relationships as an area of productivity, but a lack of productivity in these areas means those relationships die. Thus, a lack of interaction with family and friends–when it is within our ability–signals the probability of a loss that has not yet been resolved within. An unwillingness to interact signals that irreparable damage has been allowed to develop at some point in time. If not addressed and worked through (processed)–with or without the other person–healthy relationships are not likely to occur in the future because there will be a lack of trust. This lack of trust will impede the closeness of all relationships.

So, when loss occurs, give yourself permission to cleanse the unhealthy pain by allowing the tears to wash it away. Holding that pain in will cause its own grief–separate and apart from the loss. Big girls and boys do cry sometimes. These tears allow us to go on meeting other responsibilities so long as they do not dominate our life. Don’t allow your tears of grief to become the grief of tears not released.

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Sources:

Kubler-Ross, Elisabeth & D. Kessler. (2014). On Grief & Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss. Scribner. New York.

Kirby, Stephanie. Med. Rev. by Santa, Melinda. (17 September 2020). “The 7 Stages of Grief and How They Affect You.” betterhelp at betterhelp.com. Mountain View, California: betterhelp.com. (28 November 2020). https://www.betterhelp.com/advice/grief/the-7-stages-of-grief-and-how-they-affect-you/?utm_source=AdWords&utm_medium=Search_PPC_c&utm_term=_b&utm_content=80082676786&network=g&placement=&target=&matchtype=b&utm_campaign=6459244691&ad_type=text&adposition=&gclid=Cj0KCQjwqrb7BRDlARIsACwGad7NNf5XmV3-_em0YWLV2asKoQx8ZSJ4JJZ5K4bxBrDIFplE2zwlaWoaArSQEALw_wcBl.

Eds. Web MD. Reviewed By: Goldberg, Joseph, MD. (13 April 2018). Grief and Depression. WebMD at webmd.com. (28 November 2020). https://www.webmd.com/depression/guide/depression-grief#3.

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Photo Above: by pen_ash at pixabay.com.

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Living in Today

a devotional

~~ by tkbrown ~~

Scripture Source: Holy Bible — New King James Version (NKJV)

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Matthew 6:34 — “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Holy Bible — New King James Version (NKJV)

So often we hear someone refer to tomorrow and what it may bring, or another may rue something that happened a year ago. Do we not realize that when we are worried and fretting about what has already passed or what will happen in the future, we are forgetting–even neglecting–what is happening right now?

For those familiar with the 12-Step Program, the phrase, “One Day at a Time,” is heard often. It is a reminder to quit worrying about what is over and cannot be changed or what has not even arrived yet. It is a reminder to focus on “today” and the events occurring “right now.”

Some, who prefer a more crass reference to the thought might say:

“If ye have one foot in yesterday and ye other in tomorrow, ye are a-peeing all over today.”

Michael J Fox

When you think about it–crass or not–there is much truth in this saying. We simply cannot address, enjoy the events of, or resolve the problems of today, if we are rolling around on the ground wailing about yesterday or tomorrow. “. . . Yesterday is history, Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present,” Alice Morse Earle.

“The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That is why it is called the present.”

Alice Morse Earle — as per Travis Dultz (below).

So, in this light, I would like to bring our attention to the woes presented in the media today. Each–and every–day, the media complains about what one politician or the other has been doing or saying. If not about what has been done or said, then about what will be done or said. We cannot do anything about the many speculations and even falsehoods found in modern media, but we can change our response to it. While it may be important to be aware of what is being touted as real in the media, it is also important to realize most of it has either already happened or is yet to occur–if it does present itself. So, worrying and fretting about what the media says does no one any good.

  • It can raise your blood pressure. — Not good for you!
  • It can cause a heart attack or stroke. — Not good for you!
  • It can drive you to drinking or doing drugs, if you are so prone. — Not good for you!
  • It can make you depressed. — Not good for you!
  • It can lead you into actions you might never consider if you had not read it or heard it on the news.

So, why does the media have such power over our lives in this day? Perhaps because we have lost the ability to focus on those thoughts, events and concerns of “this day.” When we lose this perspective, today becomes “lost” in the quagmire. Are you guilty of this?

If so, I challenge you to “grab hold” of your focus and shift it back to its intended position. Practice focusing on what is happening right now. Give “it–right now” your undivided attention! You cannot change what happened yesterday, and you cannot do anything about what may or may not happen tomorrow. So, focus on what you can do something about–whatever is happening “right now.” Only when you regain control over your focus can you do anything about the concerns that are most important–the people, places, and things in your life right now.

Yes, sometimes it is important to remember the positive events of the past to help us through the trials and tribulations of the present, but we must limit our past focus to those memories we can utilize to improve the present.

Regarding what the media is saying in reference to this or that politician, I would refer you to the thirteenth chapter of Romans (NKJV), verses one through seven:

Romans 13:1-7
  • 1 — “Let every soul be subject to the governing authorities. For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God.”
  • 2 — “Therefore, whoever resists the authority resists the ordinance of God, and those who resist will bring judgment on themselves.”
  • 3 — “For rulers are not a terror to good works, but to evil. Do you want to be unafraid of the authority? Do what is good, and you will have praise from the same.”
  • 4 — “For he is God’s minister to you for good. But if you do evil, be afraid, for he does not bear the sword in vain; for he is God’s minister, an avenger to execute wrath on him who practices evil.”
  • 5 — “Therefore, you must be subject, not only because of wrath but also for conscience’ sake.”
  • 6 — “For because of this, you also pay taxes, for they are God’s ministers attending continually to this very thing.”
  • 7 — “Render therefore to all their due: taxes to whom taxes are due, customs to whom customs, fear to whom fear, honor to whom honor.”

As we, here in America–and in other parts of the world–adapt to new leadership styles in new governing authorities over the next months, many are predicting failure and trepidation. Others are touting the reduction of governmental authority and power. Which will it be? Only time can tell the true tale of what lies ahead. One thing is certain, living in a mode of fear and dread will only exacerbate the situation and make it worse. Therefore, I would caution against deciding now what next month, or next year, will hold. In Matthew 6:34, Jesus said, “Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about its own things. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.” Sometimes we make the events of our lives worse than they would normally be by worrying and creating a “Self-fulfilling Prophecy.” Sometimes we actually create the very problem we worry might occur.

“In 1948, Robert K Merton coined the term, “self-fulfilling prophecy” to describe a false definition of the situation evoking a behavior which makes the originally false conception come true. . . . “

Derek Schaedig.

It will help us to remember, God says He put the current leaders into power, and we are to be subject to them. We are not to denigrate and denounce the powers that be. We are not to oppose the powers that be. That does not say we cannot work for change, but if we do, we must do it in a respectful manner toward the present powers that be–because those powers are ordained of God.

Hopefully, the thoughts presented in today’s devotional will help with some problem you are facing today. If it does, please let me know that in the comments section below. Just a general summary statement is good–do not feel you are being asked to give personal details. This might make you uncomfortable, and I would never intentionally do that. If you like what has been presented here, click the “Like” button and share it forward. Thank You Much!

I pray that we might always be reminded to keep life as simple as possible by focusing on the “right here, right now” instead of allowing the past or the future to complicate things. May we always look to God, His Son, and His Word for guidance in coping with concerns of this day! Blessings!

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Sources:

Dultz. Travis. (27 August 2015). “Who said ‘Yesterday is history tomorrow is a mystery today is a gift?'” Yesterday Tomorrow Today Phrase Origin. yesterdaytomorrowtodaypresent.blogspot.com. (15 November 2020). http://yesterdaytomorrowtodaypresent.blogspot.com/2015/08/yesterday-tomorrow-and-today-phrase.html.

Schaedig, Derek. (24 August 2020). “Self-Fulfilling Prophecy and The Pygmalion Effect. Simply Psychology. simplypsychology.org. (15 November 2020). https://www.simplypsychology.org/self-fulfilling-prophecy.html#:~text=A%20self%2Dfulfilling%20prophecy%20is,ways%20which%20confirm%20the%20expectations.

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Photo Above: from Public Domain Images @ pixabay.com.

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Lincoln’s Gettysburg Address

On This Day – – – 19 November 1863

by tkbrown

On This Day in 1863, Abraham Lincoln – 16th President of the United States of America – spoke at the Hatless centre in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania. As Ray Setterfield’s (OnThisDay.com) article title states, it was “Words That Echoed Down The Decades”. Those words became known across our nation and around the world as one of the greatest speeches ever delivered anywhere at any time. Setterfield begins by stating “The Gettysburg Address, in which President Abraham Lincoln spoke of all men being created equal and ‘government of the people, by the people, for the people’ . . . . ” was the honor he gave to fallen soldiers of the American Civil War Battle of Gettysburg ” during the dedication of the Soldiers’ National Cemetery . . . four and a half months after the pivotal battle took place. Words spoken on that day have been referenced in many powerful addresses. During and after the dedication, which lasted only a few minutes, Setterfield cites Edward Everett (who had spoken long just prior to President Lincoln) as reporting that the audience was spellbound to the point you could actually hear a collective inhalation afterward which reflected the intensity of the impact felt by those who had been fortunate enough to hear Lincoln’s address. He reports, “In the silence of the next moment Everett leapt to his feet again and said, as nearly as I can remember, this: ‘We have just listened to a speech that will live through the ages’ (Carter, A. 1940.)”

Abraham Lincoln — 16th President of the United States of America
Presidential Term: 4 March 1861 — 15 April 1865
Member of the U.S. House of Representatives from Illinois’ 7th District
Member of the Illinois House of Representatives
Born: 12 February 1809 — Hodgenville, Kentucky, U.S.A.
Died: 15 April 1865 (by assassination) Ford’s Theater; Washington, D.C., U.S.A.
To Quote 'OnThisDay.com.: "Lincoln's actions preserved the Union and pulled
the United Statesthrough its greatest political, military and moral crisis."

The following link will allow you to hear and read the words Abraham Lincoln spoke that day — 19 November 1863. Please listen and watch with Patriotic Reverence.

Sources: Eds. (19 November 2019). "Abraham  Lincoln". OnThisDay.com., online.
(19 November 2019).
https://www.onthisday.com/people/abraham-lincoln?utm_source=On+This+Day+in+History+by+OnThisDay.com&utm_campaign=8c2e794e01-DE+GE&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b15ebf209d-8c2e794e01-113092938.
Setterfield, Ray. (4 September 2017). "Words That Echoed Down The Decades".
OnThisDay.com., online. (19 November 2019).
https://www.onthisday.com/people/abraham-lincoln?utm_source=On+This+Day+in+History+by+OnThisDay.com&utm_campaign=8c2e794e01-DE+GE&utm_medium=email&utm_term=0_b15ebf209d-8c2e794e01-113092938.
Note: Setterfield's Source: Carter, A.R.C. (1940). Let Me Tell You.
Hutchinson and Company.

Halloween and Children’s Safety . . .

by tkbrown —

Halloween is coming up, and the safety of all children should be front and foremost in our minds. The past two to three decades has seen a spate of evildoings with regard to the Trick-or-Treat activities. Many have reported receiving candy with poison, straight-edged razor particles, straight-pins, needles, etc. embedded. Only evil people would do such a thing. Therefore, it is up to the communities to protect the children.

In decades past, alternative practices have been coordinated as part of a collaborative effort to protect the children. Hospitals began offering ‘free of charge’ x-ray services to detect metal particles in candy. Churches began coordinating ‘Trunk-or-Treat’ activities for the children in the community and for those who wished to visit. Neighborhoods began coordinating ‘Trick-or-Treat’ for the children within and for the friends and relatives of those children. Many efforts have been launched to protect our children on Halloween. There are not, currently, as many reports of such evil atrocities occurring on Halloween as there have been in decades past. For this, I am thankful.

If you have a child, or children, who will be participating in ‘Trick-or-Treat,’ please take precautions to protect them. It is better to limit the treats received in a protective environment, than to expose them to the evils noted above and possibly others to which we have not been alerted. When the children go Trick-or-Treating, go with them. Have one or two adults go along to ensure their safety, while one or two stay behind to give ‘safe’ treats to those who come to call.

Let’s all join hands in this effort to ensure a Happy and Healthy Halloween for all!!!!!

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Photo Above: by mumby.com.

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Lead Pipes . . .

~~ an Essay ~~

~~ by tkbrown

According to the Associated Press (Porter and Catalini), lead pipes — in cities across America — are poisoning our children . . . and us . . . via the water that is piped into our homes. Tainted water in Washington D.C. was just the beginning. Then came the Flint, Michigan water scandal . . . and now Newark, New Jersey.

The human body, our domestic animals . . . we must have water to live. What an irony that the very pipes bringing that water into our homes are also poisoning that water with lead. This water, in turn, poisons all who drink it.

Porter and Catalini cite the 1986 Environmental Protection Agency (EPA) ban of lead in water pipes. The reason for the ban, cited by the EPA, was “lead’s harmful effects on children’s nervous systems.” In 1991, water systems across the nation were required by federal mandate to monitor lead levels in drinking water with a limit established of 15 parts per billion.

The 1991 mandate was twenty-eight years ago. This means that every town, village, community and city in this nation should have, on record, the levels of lead in the servicing water system(s). How much lead are YOU drinking daily? How much lead is your beloved dog or cat drinking daily? Even more importantly, how much are our children — who have no protection if not by us — drinking daily?

Are WE killing our children in America, because we have omitted following up on these mandates? Are WE causing the neurological damage that our children suffer because we have blindly trusted the system to correct the problem?

It is time for US to stop allowing our children to be poisoned by the very people who create the laws for us to live by! It is time for us to stop putting the children of other nations ahead of our own children’s health, education and welfare!

It is time for US — ALL OF US — to inundate our local, state and federal government representatives with demands to purify our water systems. Is the anti-corrosive coating inside many of these lead pipes actually preventing that lead from leaching through into the water? We had better be finding out — for our children’s sake — for our grandchildren’s sake!

Passing out bottled water is not sufficient! That bottled water in no way covers all of the water ingested by our children. Food is washed and cooked from tap water, as a rule. That means the very food we are serving our children may be poisoning them. Where can our children turn for protection if we, their parents and grandparents, are not protecting them?

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Sources: Porter, David and Catalini, Mike. (13 September 2019). “Lead pipes that tainted Newark’s water are found across US.” (Accessed 13 September 2019). Associated Press (AP) on msn news. https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/lead-pipes-that-tainted-newarks-water-are-found-across-us/ar-AAHfXiB?ocid=spartanntp.

Mayo Clinic. (6 December 2016). “Patient Care and Health Information – Diseases and Conditions: Lead Poisoning.” (Accessed 13 September 2019). Mayo Foundation for Medical Education and Research (MFMER) https://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/lead-poisoning/symptoms-causes/syc-20354717.

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Photo Above: by Epcor.com.

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