societal-losses – by tkbrown

Midst all the grieving and lamenting with such intensity the heart doth ache. Whom can I trust? The pain, the not feeling is more than this old, feeble soul can take. One disaster hits, and then another. Before I can stand up straight, I smother the screams of anguish inside, and I hide the pain because my neighbor cannot find half of her belongings. How can I scream? I need to be strong and help mend the seam the storm ripped open before something else renders it irreparable. Immense are the threats to my survival, but I am not important right now, and I sigh-- deeply, longingly--and look to the sky. There is death and dying all around me. Ash and charred wood, far as the eye can see and I wonder, how will it ever be the same; and I just want to run, to flee and forget the loss stretching, engulfing all. No home, no business, no feeling to express the emptiness entrenching the dried riverbed; ash coating, drifiting between the stones--gray, forlorn, seemingly afraid to hope for better day. Achingly eyeing the chard remains, desperately recalling beauty--incongruently. This is not a scene one would ever want to revisit. Even new growth could not erase the scars, the memories so scant. As I contemplated the losses our country and my fellow-citizens have experienced this week-- from fires and storms, I grieved with them--for them; and I penned these words as an expression of my condolences. To those not suffering loss at this time, if you are ever in the path of such powerful forces, evacuate! Leave hearth and home! No material belongings are worth your lives! This cannot be stressed too much. The country, the world is already reeling from unfathomable loss, and the grieving process has begun. The five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, and Acceptance have begun. No two persons experience them in the same order or to the same depth. Oftentimes more than one can be seen at the same time. Therefore, no two countries will experience them the same. Denial is not yet past--for us-- here in America! The Anger has begun, mostly in the form of rioting, looting, violence, and mayhem focusing on other areas rather than the death and dying all around us directly related to coronavirus-- in our families and in society. So, the Denial has not passed. It is still going on along with the Anger, and some Bargaining. Expressions of Anger are being blamed on events not truly related to society's loss from the pandemic. It is hard to separate personal loss from societal loss. Is that even possible? I don't think so. Be strong enough to feel--more than the anger! Be strong enough to heal--more, more than yourself! It will take introspection refueled to collectively grieve and to rebuild.

~~ by tkbrown

18 September 2020 — The loss being felt by every person in America is unmistakable, but indescribable. The amount of economic security that existed, for the most part, prior to the onset of coronavirus was more than ever known. A mental review of our nation’s good times–and bad– show an economy never so fully engaged with the world. Now, the trust linking countries and economies has been severed in many cases. Some–stronger–are weathering the storm, but so much worse for the wear. This loss is not limited to that of individuals within the country. This loss is of the country. Our nation is hurting right along with every citizen, resident, and alien. We are not alone in this loss. Every nation in the world is reeling with us.

The sheer number of deaths in the six months since the pandemic struck American soil are unprecedented. For many, there has been no time to truly grieve for want of trying to survive. Those in the health professions have been too busy trying to save lives to properly grieve losses in their private lives. The illness is so insurmountable, neither individuals suffering from the virus nor those caring for them have been spared the trauma of long-term suffering. Post traumatic stress disorder is a given for many of the survivors and for their caregivers.

Here in America, a “lockdown” perse could not be implemented. Such is the cost of freedom. Most other countries do not enjoy “freedom” to the extent Americans do. Our constitution engenders the right to refuse such imprisonment, and our citizens did just that. The consequence of that refusal has been the insurmountable death toll we are seeing because that refusal brought with it a spread of the virus not seen in other countries where true lockdowns could be enforced. Our government has told its citizens, “you are free to choose; so, you have the responsibility to choose wisely or suffer the undesirable consequences that accompany poor decision making”. The whole country has this freedom, and much of the country did not choose wisely.

The losses associated with preventive efforts, such as self-quarantine, has been the closing of many thriving businesses. Even with efforts to minimize the impact, the individual lives scarred by sacrificing all will never be the same. Jobs, businesses, schooling, production, productivity as a whole has been limited to such a degree it may take years to overcome the setback.

No one saw it coming. No one had a plan because there was no guidebook. Nothing outlined before even came close to including all losses being experienced today. It is a “one step at a time” endeavor. We have made mistakes, but much has been done right too. For every choice, there is a consequence. When we do not know what the consequence will be for a particular action, we make regrettable mistakes. However, we do not have the time to moan and groan over those mistakes, and we do not have time to point fingers regarding mistakes. No one is immune; everyone has made mistakes.

The blame game wastes precious time. It is a form of denial regarding the true severity of the situation. Our citizenry must stop the infighting and admit the feelings associated with the losses without hurting self or others. The anger being expressed in the violence and rioting must stop. It is hurting innocent people, and it is hurting those inflicting the harm.

These societal losses are experiencing the same stages of grieving seen in individual loss, but on a much larger scale. The anger is a symptom of being ready to address the underlying feelings. So, it is time to begin communicating those underlying feelings. To do this, it is necessary to understand the stages associated with grief. Our society, as we knew it, has died–worldwide–and it is left to us to pick up the pieces, one at a time.

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Photo Above: by Dylan Nolte @Unsplash.com.

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Source: Kubler-Ross, M.D. and D Kessler. (August 2014). “On grief & grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss.” Scribner. New York. (16 September 2020).

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Tag: societal-losses

My Morning Do . . . “Losses”

My Morning Do . . . “Loss and Grieving”

~~ by tkbrown