Tag: violence

My Morning Do . . . “Loss and Grieving”

~~ by tkbrown

18 September 2020 — The loss being felt by every person in America is unmistakable, but indescribable. The amount of economic security that existed, for the most part, prior to the onset of coronavirus was more than ever known. A mental review of our nation’s good times–and bad– show an economy never so fully engaged with the world. Now, the trust linking countries and economies has been severed in many cases. Some–stronger–are weathering the storm, but so much worse for the wear. This loss is not limited to that of individuals within the country. This loss is of the country. Our nation is hurting right along with every citizen, resident, and alien. We are not alone in this loss. Every nation in the world is reeling with us.

The sheer number of deaths in the six months since the pandemic struck American soil are unprecedented. For many, there has been no time to truly grieve for want of trying to survive. Those in the health professions have been too busy trying to save lives to properly grieve losses in their private lives. The illness is so insurmountable, neither individuals suffering from the virus nor those caring for them have been spared the trauma of long-term suffering. Post traumatic stress disorder is a given for many of the survivors and for their caregivers.

Here in America, a “lockdown” perse could not be implemented. Such is the cost of freedom. Most other countries do not enjoy “freedom” to the extent Americans do. Our constitution engenders the right to refuse such imprisonment, and our citizens did just that. The consequence of that refusal has been the insurmountable death toll we are seeing because that refusal brought with it a spread of the virus not seen in other countries where true lockdowns could be enforced. Our government has told its citizens, “you are free to choose; so, you have the responsibility to choose wisely or suffer the undesirable consequences that accompany poor decision making”. The whole country has this freedom, and much of the country did not choose wisely.

The losses associated with preventive efforts, such as self-quarantine, has been the closing of many thriving businesses. Even with efforts to minimize the impact, the individual lives scarred by sacrificing all will never be the same. Jobs, businesses, schooling, production, productivity as a whole has been limited to such a degree it may take years to overcome the setback.

No one saw it coming. No one had a plan because there was no guidebook. Nothing outlined before even came close to including all losses being experienced today. It is a “one step at a time” endeavor. We have made mistakes, but much has been done right too. For every choice, there is a consequence. When we do not know what the consequence will be for a particular action, we make regrettable mistakes. However, we do not have the time to moan and groan over those mistakes, and we do not have time to point fingers regarding mistakes. No one is immune; everyone has made mistakes.

The blame game wastes precious time. It is a form of denial regarding the true severity of the situation. Our citizenry must stop the infighting and admit the feelings associated with the losses without hurting self or others. The anger being expressed in the violence and rioting must stop. It is hurting innocent people, and it is hurting those inflicting the harm.

These societal losses are experiencing the same stages of grieving seen in individual loss, but on a much larger scale. The anger is a symptom of being ready to address the underlying feelings. So, it is time to begin communicating those underlying feelings. To do this, it is necessary to understand the stages associated with grief. Our society, as we knew it, has died–worldwide–and it is left to us to pick up the pieces, one at a time.

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Photo Above: by Dylan Nolte @Unsplash.com.

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Source: Kubler-Ross, M.D. and D Kessler. (August 2014). “On grief & grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss.” Scribner. New York. (16 September 2020).

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My Morning Do . . . “Grief”

~~ by tkbrown

16 September 2020 — The world’s anticipation of the year 2020 was something of a phenomenon. The 1920s were known as “The Roaring Twenties.” Perhaps we were wondering if the 2020s would be remembered in similar fashion. As the year began, we were looking at a world where economic recovery seemed to take hold, then it began to grow. Hopping a flight to the other side of the world was as commonplace as a trip to the next state was in the Twentieth Century. The concept of the end of the year being less was not one the world could grasp. There was no anticipation for the grief that lay ahead.

Today, six months into the coronavirus pandemic, the United States is groaning with grief. The country is coping with grief from losses no one could have dreamed of as the New Year took hold nine months ago. Now there is loss of loved ones, loss of work, loss of family gatherings, loss of in person worship services, loss of businesses, loss of seeing school friends, . . . the loss of life as we knew it. The United states is not alone in these losses. In many ways, the world is groaning too.

There is also anticipatory grief for the loss possibilities which lie ahead. The questions are just under the surface in most minds: “What next? Will I lose a loved one? Will I get sick and lose my life as I know it? Will I die too?” Everyone is thinking these things, but few will admit it. According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross and David Kessler, the anticipation of future loss is a grieving process in itself.

Are you grieving a loss? Are you anticipating future loss? Both forms of loss create the need to grieve, but few will acknowledge the fact. “Hold your chin up!” “You will survive!” “Suck it up and go on!” “No one wants to hear you whine!” One or more of these statements–and others–are heard by most as the struggle to get through the death and dying around us goes on. People are exhibiting every stage of the grieving process, but few feel free to let it show. Grief is discussed so very little–even though it is happening all around. Most probably do not even recognize the symptoms.

I am not going to discuss the various stages of grief in this writing, but over the next weeks I will describe the stages and some of the societal symptoms of those stages. Even the violence seen in this country, and in others, is a symptom of societal grief. I believe it is time for us to look at the multiple sources of grief around us and begin to embrace the associated needs–in society and in our own lives. It is time to truly begin the grieving process for all of the losses we are trying so hard to pretend do not matter. They do matter! Our societal ills are saying if we do not allow ourselves to admit the reality of it all, human behavior will regress even more.

Yes, we must go on, but we must also stop and take some time to grieve the loss of a close family member and of other losses. The losses in areas of daily living as we once knew it need to be waded through. It is important to remember, “We must go on!” Somehow, we must pick up the pieces and patch them back together. We must, and we will, survive! This is ‘the scraps’ life gives us sometimes. So, feel it and move on.

Have a Blessed Day!

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Photo Above: by Dylan Nolte @Unsplash.com.

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Source: Kubler-Ross, M.D. and D Kessler. (August 2014). “On grief & grieving: Finding the meaning of grief through the five stages of loss.” Scribner. New York. (16 September 2020).

My Morning Do . . . “Acceptance of Others”

~~ by tkbrown

10 September 2020 — Acceptance seems to be shunned in this day and time. The “going thing” seems to be disagreement, protests, and persecution. There seems to be a tendency to equate acceptance with agreement. This perception is not reality based. Acceptance does not necessarily mean agreement.

The news today is filled with disagreement. From domestic disputes to world organizations, disagreement seems to be the norm. While some disagreement is a part of everyday life, and while harmful values are never to be condoned, we–as Christians–are to accept the right of others to be different from us and to believe differently from us. During His life here on earth, Jesus encountered many who were different from Him, but He never ridiculed, persecuted, or punished anyone for being on a different path. He did express rage toward the moneychangers and the merchants in the temple because they were defiling His Father’s house. He did not disagree with “what” they were doing. He disagreed with “where” they were engaging that activity (John 2:13-16 — NKJV).

When He met the Samaritan woman at the well, He discussed aspects of her life–apparently in depth–but He never once ridiculed or persecuted her because of who she was. If He had gone off on a tangent, ranting, raving, and destroying her property, would He have made a positive impression upon her? Would He have made a positive impression upon any of her acquaintances whom she brought back to the well to meet Him? Through the entire event, no one fought anyone to get a point across. Jesus impressed the Samaritan woman and her acquaintances with His acceptance of who they were, not with anger and malice toward them. John 4:39 says, “And many of the Samaritans of that city believed in Him because of the word of the woman who testified, ‘He told me all that I ever did.'” (NKJV) Jesus impressed upon her that He did not agree with or condone her way of life, but He never harmed her in any way.

My mother frequently referenced the old saying, “You can catch more flies with honey than with vinegar.” — Anonymous. She was right! That is what Jesus was impressing upon the multitudes as He delivered the Sermon on the Mount. He said, “‘Therefore, whatever you want men to do to you, do also to them, for this is the Law and the Prophets,'” (Matthew 7:12 — NKJV). During His time here on earth, Jesus had many differences of opinion and fact with others, but He never once addressed the issue in a harmful, ridiculing, or disrespectful manner. His responses were always short, kind, and to the point.

In today’s world, there are many different cultures–much the same as the world was in Jesus’ time. As Christians, what is the best way to lead someone to Christ: By lashing out, ranting, and raving at the difference with which we do not agree, or by quietly discussing the difference in what we believe and what the other person(s) believe? Christianity is a program of attraction, not of repulsion. Violence, ranting, and raving does not attract those who love God. We, as Christians, are instructed never to treat someone differently than we would want to be treated if the situation was reversed (John 2:13-16 — NKJV). We are also instructed to love our enemies. Again, in His Sermon on the Mount, Jesus said, “‘But I say to you, love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you,'” (Matthew 5:44 — NKJV). The news today is filled with difference being addressed in many ways. The question we, as Christians, hold in our heart is: How would I want someone else to deal with me in this same situation? Food for thought in today’s world.

Have a Blessed Day!

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Scripture References are from the Holy Bible — New King James Version (NKJV).

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My 2-Cents Worth

ALL LIVES MATTER!!!!

By: tkbrown

As a citizen of this great nation, I have sat quietly watching as racism has tugged from this side, then tugged from that side, then another . . . and another! I watched the Watts Riots of California being televised across the nation. I watched the peaceful protests led by Dr. Martin Luther King. I watched as civil unrest divided the nation between those supporting the violence and rioting and those who did not — which is happening again as I write! I watched as segregation was addressed and desegregation was enacted. I watched decades pass when black Americans and white Americans were mostly united against the onslaught of other nations and the wars — both hot and cold — were fought. I watched and listened to both sides. Having parents, one of whom was a Democrat and the other who was a Republican, whose differing viewpoints taught me that we do not have to agree to get along — we can sometimes agree to disagree!

I watched all of the above, then I experienced my writing — a poem — as it was accepted and lauded by classmates and faculty to the extent that it was published in my High School Newsletter my senior year. Then I experienced the disappointment of silence after I presented another of my poems, entitled “They’re People Too.” I had seen firsthand the difference in the way even young black children were treated versus young white children. I hoped my poem could make a difference. It was silently rejected, and I was never asked about my writing again.

I have watched as ‘drive-by shootings’ killed many black Americans due to poverty, violence, gangs, drugs, etc. Drugs were infiltrating the American scene, and where drugs go–violence follows. I watched as immigrants from other countries flooded our great land to escape tyranny and persecution. Then, I watched as that persecution began being quietly turned on white Americans as a means of expressing disgust regarding past treatment.

Ironically, by the time this happened, most white Americans had accepted people of color and of other nationalities. Yes, those remained who fought integration, but most accepted and embraced it. Silently, I hoped and prayed the acceptance would overcome, and I did as much as I could to encourage that acceptance in all areas of my life.

Then, I watched as the racist attitudes infiltrated those toward whom it had been directed. Now, the shootings were enacted or instigated by black Americans against white Americans. I watched in horror, as that reverse racism was directed–even at me who had fought for black Americans all my life. Reverse discrimination against me became the norm as the national turmoil steadily increased.

Now, the riots have begun again. Mostly black people attempting to destroy white America. One even said outright, he looks forward to the day when intermarriage and interracial relationships do away with truly white people and interracial becomes the norm. How much more racist can one be? Yet, in the news, most of what we see and hear discusses only the racism of white against black. Few have the courage to discuss the reverse, the black against white that is destroying our nation–and reporters seem to thrive on making that destruction happen.

When are we going to realize: It is not JUST ‘Black Lives Matter’, ALL LIVES MATTER, but black Americans are being allowed to say only people of color matter. By phrasing it as such, they make it appear that they support the Latinos, the Asians, the Native Americans, etc. who are also people of color. Then we hear again, repeatedly, “BLACK LIVES MATTER!” This excludes all others, but nobody pays attention to tht fact. There is racism in America, but this time, it is the black against the white — and all others — that is creating the unrest in America. I have sat quietly watching as it has chipped away at the fiber of our interdependence, weakening even the strength of this country against foes who are other countries on the planet called Earth. When white Americans who ARE white supremacists began responding in kind, black America cried wolf every time until the situation became what it is today — even though black America had instigated that response.

When are we going to stop destroying America and begin stressing that ALL LIVES MATTER — not just BLACK LIVES? That is reverse racism to the hilt. When will reporters begin to call a spade a spade, and expose it for what it is? No one will say what is really happening, because any white person who speaks out about — and black people too — will be persecuted into oblivion. Well, ENOUGH IS ENOUGH? I am speaking out about it. In the Holy Bible, the book of Philippians is about racism and the fact that it is not supposed to be allowed among those who profess to be Christians. Well, I have to ask Black America — where is your justification for the reverse racism that is destroying America today? You profess to believe Christ is the Son of God, You profess to accept persons of other colors — then why do you persecute white people and persons of other origin — even those who support you? I am sorry, but according to the book of Philippians, your behavior is not Christ-like! Get down off your pedestals! If those statues you are destroying were of Black People, the whole nation would have been razed by now!

It is time that ALL RACISM STOPS, and America begins to heal. It is time that all colors — including white — and black — accept each other. I, and all white people, have the right to Freedom of Speech too, but you and your reporter friends try to deprive us of that right. Well, I am reclaiming my right to Freedom of Speech! BLACK people, it is time to STOP! Dr. Martin Luther King would NOT approve of what you are doing today, and his daughter recently said as much publicly. Peaceful protests are protected by the United States Constitution, but violence which destroys both life and property is NOT protected by the United States Constitution because it tears America down! The Constitution DOES NOT protect YOU when you riot!!!! So, stop it or accept the consequences!!!!

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I believe this song, “A Beautiful Life,” written by William M Golden, posted from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wt-v5D2Ozko best expresses my feelings about what needs to happen now. Please follow the link and listen, “Like” my post (if you do like it), and Comment below to tell me what you think. I look forward to hearing from you!

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